Of Dreams and Nightmares
by Chibi-Ra-Chan
Summary: Due to a mission breifing that failed to explain everything, Sakura is stuck in prision with her teammates. To get out she needs to marry one of them, or they'll all be killed. So far, Death is looking like the better option. Sakura x Various Naruto Males


Of Dreams and Nightmares

By Chibi Ra Chan

Rated T

Disclaimer- Sadly enough I don't own Naruto if I did I highy doubt that Sasuke would still be alive.

Warning- This story is a parody. I don't have anything against any of these pairings, I just like to poke fun at some of the Sakura shippings. Enjoy!

* * *

"I'm gonna kill him. The minute I see his scrawny red headed little ass, I'm going to murder him." Sakura whispered to herself from her spot on the jail cell floor. Her male teammates eyed her cautiously. Naruto, the only one who was really used to her angry outbursts, sweat dropped.

"It's not Gaara's fault Sakura-chan…"

Emerald eyes lit up immediately with distaste. "Of course it's his fault! He's the one who sent us on this mission! He's the one who didn't warn us! In fact he failed to tell us that one of the villages in HIS country found a single girl traveling with four unwedded males to be not only offensive but against nine of their laws and punishable by death!" Needless to say, Haruno Sakura was not pleased. Nor were any of them for that matter, she just happened to be the only one of them throwing a hissy fit.

They were tired, weakened from a hard mission in the harsh desert climate, cranky and stuck together in a small ten by six cell.

"We need to plan a way to escape." This was calmly delivered by the stoic Hyuuga Neji, who sat glumly in his corner of the cell, pearl eyes glowering.

From the opposite corner, a distinctive snort was heard, as well as a bark, which was rather odd considering their jailers had taken Akamaru (along with most of their weapons and Sakura's medical kit) hours ago.

Clearly Kiba found The Hyuuga's statement humorous. "Wow, how smart! How ever did you come up this that one?" His voice dripped with sarcasm. "Don't you think we would have escaped already if our chakra wasn't sucked away from us?" Both Kiba and Sakura glared at him.

Shikamaru who was laying in the final corner rolled his eyes. Honestly, this was supposed to be an elite group of extremely specialized ninja and they were all acting like a bunch of kids. Not only was the entire situation troublesome, but it wasn't going to get better with all their squabbling. "Oi, they gave us the option to get married. Let Sakura marry one of us, then we leave. Simple."

All eyes stared at the lazy genius as if he had just proposed they all go to a slumber party with Orochimaru. "What? Either she marries one of us or they kill us at dawn."

"I'd rather die." Sakura deadpanned. The males merely sweat dropped.

"Thanks Sakura, Thanks." The Inuzuka muttered more to himself than to her.

With his usual hyperactivity, Naruto grinned slyly and eased up next to his pink haired teammate who stood in the middle of the cell. "But if you had to get married to one of us, you'd pick me right?" Before she could even begin to respond, Kiba stood abruptly pointed an accusing finger at the blonde.

"Hardly! Sakura would choose me." To show his point he pulled Sakura away from Naruto and tucked her at his side. Sakura blinked in surprise.

Naruto's sapphire eyes widened with laughter. "You! Why would she choose you?" The Kyuubi host pulled the pink haired kunoichi back to him.

Sakura twitched

Kiba pulled her back by her arm again."Because I'm so dashingly handsome, that's why!" Sakura was twitching more now.

"She doesn't even know you that well! Besides we've been teammates for years!" Naruto tugged her back. Shikamaru was starting to think that Sakura was developing a facial tick.

"I do too know her! And besides we have a natural chemistry!" The boys were now playing a game of tug of war with Sakura's arms.

'Yep, definatly developing a facial tick.'

The laziest member of their team could clearly see that Sakura was a few more tugs away from exploding and was about to step in, but Neji beat him to it.

Striking both Naruto and Kiba in the neck at the same time, both boys immediately fell to the ground, letting go of the only female in their group. "Screaming and yelling isn't going to get us out of here. Stop being idiots before I make you. "

Sakura sent Neji a smile for stepping in before the more hyperactive ninjas tore her arms out of their sockets. Inner Sakura nodded with approval. 'Honestly, the thought of us marrying either one of them is completely-' Before the thought was finished, she found herself yanked again, this time landing squarely against a smirking Neji's chest.

"Besides, Sakura-san would marry me." He stated calmly.

'Wha-wha-what?' Inner Sakura screamed with disbelief.

All three of the males in their group stared at the Hyuuga before bursting into fits of laughter.

Neji and Sakura? The thought alone was crazy.

Naruto was laughing so hard that his sides were in pain and he had to hold them. Kiba was rolling on the very limited floor space, and even Shikamaru laughed behind his hand. Neji scowled his signature scowl. He did not see what was so funny about him and Sakura.

"Why would she marry you? You're as emotionally rich as an ice cube." Kiba howled.

Neji resented that. "I could provide her with a good, stable life. She'd never want for anything. Which is more then I could say for the two of you."

Shikamaru, despite having kept out of this entire touchy subject, choose now to put his ticket into the hat. "How troublesome. Since I'm the leader of this mission, it's my job to ensure all of your safety. So I guess I'll be the one to marry Sakura."

'Now that is a laughable thought.' Neji pondered to himself. There was no way Sakura would agree to that. She's kill the man before they left the cell.

"You? Hardly." Neji smirked arrogantly.

Sakura could not believe her ears. They were stuck in a cell the size of a coat closet, impending death coming with the rising sun and all they could do is argue about who she'd marry? 'What a bunch of idiots' she thought bitterly. Of course inner Sakura had to put her two cents in. 'Idiots or not, it's not exactly a bad thing to have a bunch of hot guys arguing about which one gets to pop your-'

Sakura blushed to the roots of her hair and shook the thought away. Now was defiantly not the time for that! Around her the four of them were still arguing, and she found that she was still plastered to Neji. Prying his hand off her waist (he was extremely lucky that she didn't have chakra to fuel her strength or he'd have several broken fingers)

"Don't I get a say in any off this?"

Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru and Naruto all paused in their statements to look at her as if just realizing that she was even there in the first place. They all answered in unison, "No." And went back to their bickering.

If Sakura had even a small amount of chakra left she would have sent them all flying through the cell walls, and went home on her own, single, thank you very much! "You're all idiots! I'm not marrying any of you death or not! So you better hope that Gaara gets here soon! Goodnight!"

Naruto was the only one who dared speak to her after her out burst. "But Saku-"

"I said GOODNIGHT!"

With that the group's only female shoved Naruto out of his corner and laid against it, intent on shutting them all out. In a matter of minutes she was asleep.

* * *

Neji blinked rapidly.

She was asleep.

Their lives hung in the balance and she was sleeping. In order to get out of this hick village alive she had to marry one of them and she was sleeping. It was so absurd he could only state the obvious. "Sakura-san is asleep."

There was a collective silence as they all registered the direness of the situation, before a rush of harsh whispers broke out.

"She's sleeping! I can't believe she's sleeping." Kiba nearly growled. Naruto nodded in agreement.

"She did look tired. We should sort this whole mess out before she wakes up." Came Shikamaru's dry whisper.

Neji lifted and elegant eyebrow. "And how are we to go about this?" Shikamaru smirked uncharacteristically.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors."

* * *

_Day One_

"Since I'm your husband Sakura-chan…" Naruto grinned boyishly, which was never a good sign really. "I convinced Baa-chan to let us move in together!" With that Naruto opened Sakura's front door with lavish hand movements.

Sakura's pretty green eyes widened in shock. "My house."

"Isn't it great!" The blonde shinobi was quite proud of himself.

The medic kunoichi started to breathe irregularly. "My house!"

"Yeah I had to throw out some of your stuff to fit my stuff in but it looks great doesn't it dattebayo?"

Lightheaded, she stepped into her radically changed home. "What did you do?"

"Don't you love it dattebayo?"

"My…My house…It's orange…..IT'S ORANGE!" The pumpkin colored room started to spin.

"I know! Isn't it great?" Sakura promptly fainted.

_Day Two_

"Naruto, Do you care to tell me why you used two weeks worth of grocery money on ramen and ramen alone?" Said ninja looked over his bowl of -you guessed it- ramen, innocently.

"Uh…Because it's delicious dattebayo?" Judging by the way her body tensed, that was not the answer she wanted to hear. "Come on Sakura-chan. You'll like it if you have some." He held out his chopsticks for her to taste.

"I don't want ramen, and that's besides the point, we can't live on ramen alone, it's unhealthy. Not to mention-" She didn't get the chance to add the rest of her sentence, for Naruto had already shoved the noodles down her throat.

_Day Three_

"Sakura-chan, come train with me dattebayo!"

Sakura didn't budge an inch as she continued to sleep, or at least try to. It was her one day off from the hospital and was not going to train today, especially not with him. She had barely gotten any sleep last night as it was. The Kyuubi host kept kicking and pushing her off the bed, until she finally gave up and slept on her love seat.

"Please?"

Silence

"Not even for your Hubby?"

The only answer he received was a pillow thrown off the couch that went through the wall, barely missing his head.

"Is that a no then Sakura?"

Silence…..

"Right…"

_Day Four_

"I'm gonna be Hokage dattebayo! I'll be the best Hokage ever! Then I'll lower the price of ramen dattebayo! Did I mention I'm gonna be Hokage Datteba-"

The normally gentle kunoichi finally snapped after the constant drabbling of her forced husband and his over use of the words 'ramen', 'Hokage' and 'dattebayo' and threw a medley of weapons (Borrowed from TenTen of course) at him. The orange clad boy was now no more then a puddle of goo on her living room floor. Never to mutter another word-

* * *

"Can't Gaara just order them to let us go?"

Sakura shot up right, her heart pounding wildly. She whipped her head around franticly expecting to see her poor house covered in instant ramen, but instead she saw was Naruto nearly at Kiba's throat, and Neji and Shikamaru locked into a fierce Rock, Paper Scissors battle.

"Thank god!" At her out burst they all stopped and looked at her as if she was the odd one amongst them. 'Dear lord, we aren't picking Naruto that's for sure.' Inner Sakura agreed. 'We'd murder him before we even reached Konoha, best friend or not.' Sadly Outer Sakura had to agree. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep." Shikamaru supplied. Sakura nodded and realized that the night must be approaching, for the once hot and sweaty room was now chilling rapidly. 'Damn desert.' Her medic instincts told her that thanks to her not so shielding kunoichi clothes, it was going to be one freezing cold night.

Almost as if reading her mind, Sakura suddenly found a jacket shoved into her line of vision. Looking up she saw Kiba looking away, a slight tinge to him cheeks. "Here. Don't die, or else I'll have to marry one of these idiots." He muttered, a frown covering his face.

Taking the jacket and putting it on, she smiled sweetly at him. "Thanks Kiba-kun, that was sweet." The blush deepened. By this time the hyperactive one of their group had caught on and was, once again, yelling.

"No fair! You cheater! You're bribing her with a coat. That's low-"

Unnoticed by them, Sakura drifted off into sleep once more.

* * *

_Day One_

"You didn't have to hit me you know." Kiba said rubbing the back of his sore head. Sakura sent him a look that screamed 'Don't start that again.' but otherwise said nothing and kept walking.

"Really, you shouldn't have. I was only telling the truth to everyone. You're my bitch now- OW!" He was hit again, luckily for him though, she did not add chakra.

"One, stop saying that. It's degrading. And two you didn't have to announce it to the whole world the minute we got back to the Hokage's tower!" Imagine Tsunade's surprise when his words echoed through out the halls. Welcome back indeed.

"Okay, so I was a tad bit loud." The petite female sent him a warning look. "But it's the technical term, it's not degrading at all."

"It's the technical term for dogs maybe." It was Kiba's term to give her look that read 'a=And your point is?' Sakura slapped her forehead in frustration. "It's degrading none the less."

"What? There's absolutely nothing wrong with being my bitch-" Kiba suddenly flew over the streets of Konoha. This time, the punch was chakra infused.

_Day Two_

Finally, A moment of silence.

Since becoming the newest part of the Inuzuka clan, Sakura's life has been severally lacking in mental downtime. Being the studious little medic she was, Sakura took this moment of peace and quiet to whip out her medical journals and do some much needed research.

But, unfortunately for her, silence was a rare occurrence when Kiba was involved. Using his ninja stealth Kiba managed to navigate the hallways of Sakura's home silently, before completely disregarding said ninja stealth all together and threw open the door with a BAM!

"Sakura! Guess what!"

Sakura plopped her head onto the pile of books and groaned. 'Not now please not now…' "What… Honey?"

If he noticed her annoyed tone, he didn't show it and settled for smiling wildly at his 'wife', fangs gleaming. "We're gonna have a baby!"

Sakura suddenly forgot how to breathe. 'B-b-b-baby! Is he crazy!' Inner Sakura roared. Eyes wide with disbelief, she swiveled around in her chair to face him (and probably tell him off), but stopped short when she noticed that he was holding out a small dog for her. By the looks out it, the dog was pregnant. Slowly her gaze traveled from the dog to Kiba, just blinking.

"Uh, Sakura…Why are you glaring at me like that? Sakura hey! Hey watch it, put the kunai down Sakura!"

_Day Three_

"You know, when people get married don't they usually-"

Sakura paused in her bandaging of his arm, she felt slightly bad about it, but he nearly gave her a heart attack with that whole 'baby' thing, so fair is fair. "Don't even go there Kiba, just don't."

Grinning wickedly (which she was noticing was never good for her) he complained. " But-" Sakura wasn't hearing any of it though.

"No. Not happening." To drive her point home she tightened the bandages a bit.

"Sakura-chan… It's perfectly natural. Come on, you know you want to…."

'Well maybe a little….' Inner Sakura added before her outer self shoved her and that sickening thought back in the recesses of her mind. "We're not having sex Kiba. End of story. Okay, you're free to go home and - What the hell! Put me down Kiba! KIBA! Let me go! KIB-"

* * *

Sakura was roughly shaken awake by a very disturbed looking Shikamaru. **"**Sakura wake-up!"

"Wha-What?" She looked around eyes half lidded, yet frantic.

"You were shouting in your sleep."

"About me!" Kiba added with a smug smirk and a wink in her direction, though his happiness didn't last very long when he saw Sakura cringe at his smile. In the corner across from her, Naruto slept like a log, muttering something about ramen and his 'Hinata-chan.' (Neji had to really fight the urge to kick him in his sleep at the mention of his younger cousin.)

"Eh… What time is it?"

Shikamaru sighed and sat back down on the cold floor. "It's about midnight. Go back to sleep. Neji and I have guard duty. How troublesome."

Nodding sleepily, Sakura curled back into a ball on the floor and quickly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_Day One_

Sakura rubbed her behind as she shakily walked into the Nara household. Shikamaru who was currently lazing about on the couch, glanced up with mild interest when his 'wife' walked in. Not bothering to speak, the pink haired medic merely collapsed on the couch, not caring that Shikamaru was already sitting on it, her head in his lap. Her entire body was sore and littered with shallow cuts and oddly colored bruises.

"Are you okay?" He ventured.

She didn't even open her eyes. "No."

After a minute of awkward silence, when it became clear she wasn't going to explain anything, Shikamaru dared to ask again. "What happened?"

Sakura glared at the ceiling. "You happened, that's what. I just spent the better part of my day running through the village dodging giant fans and deadly flowers! Courtesy of your crazy fan club!"

"Aah. Temari and Ino."

"Of course Temari and Ino! Who else would-" Breaking the glass of his living room window, a pair of kunai whirled past and barely missed Sakura's head.

_Day Two_

"It's your one day off, and this is what you do?" Sakura wasn't really all that surprised, after all she had known him since she was six, and he'd been into cloud watching then, so she was pretty much used to it by now.

He barely lifted his eyes to her, a gruff "Yup" was all he gave in way of responding.

Sakura shrugged. Eh, it couldn't be that bad could it? In all actuality cloud watching seemed enjoyable. Taking a seat beside him, she turned her attention to the sky.

_Day Three_

"Don't you have paperwork to do?"

"Yup"

She tapped her foot on the grass impatiently. "And are you going to do it, sweetheart?" She gritted her teeth forcing a smiled to remain on her face. She was trying, really she was.

"Eventually, Pudding pop." Shikamaru drawled with light amusement as Sakura walked away, hands in the air frustrated.

_Day Four_

"If you don't get your lazy ass inside and finish doing whatever the hell Tsunade pays you do, I'm going to- I'm going to- I don't even know what I'm gonna do but it will be bad!"

The shadow user sighed in resignation, women were so troublesome.

"How about this Sakura. I'll play you a game of Shoji. If you win I'll do the rest of the reports, no complaining at all. But if I win, you can't bring it for the rest of the week." He paused for a moment thinking it over before adding " And you have to cook tonight." He was not putting on a pink apron again. EVER.

Thinking she had finally won, Sakura agreed, not realizing that Shikamaru was just about unbeatable a shoji.

One game and six do-overs later, Sakura was not only mute, but cooking, while her darling husband slept on the couch, a contented smile on his lips.

She had to fight the urge to throw the frying pan at him.

_Day Five_

On the Fifth day Sakura didn't even ask him if he was going to get to his work, she simply dropped two weeks worth of official looking documents on top of him and walked away.

_Day Six_

After yet another rematch, Sakura still lost at shoji and was still cooking. The pile of Shikamaru's work kept growing in the corner, untouched with spiderwebs covering them.

_Day seven_

By day seven she swore that she saw the pile of papers move on their own.

And Dammit! She was tired of losing at shoji! In a final bit of rage, Sakura used her monsterous strength to through both Shikamaru and his damn shoji board out the boarded up window.

* * *

The rosette kunoichi blinked awake when Naruto's foot pushed her closer to the wall, or what she thought was the wall.

The shadow user blinked.

Sakura blushed.

"Sakura, if you want to do things like this, then please wait until there aren't three other men in the room. How troublesome."

Quickly, Sakura pushed herself away which caused a domino effect waking up the others as well. "Bad dream Sakura-san?" Came the sleepy tenor of the resident Hyuuga.

Rubbing her eyes sleepily, Sakura yawned before laying down as far away from the others as humanly possible and tried to go back to sleep. "You have no idea…"

* * *

_Day One_

"Neji, I feel bad." Sakura rubbed her arm absentmindedly, the flowers in her other hand dangling at her side. She looked nervous, though Neji merely raised an eyebrow, pearl eyes glittering with amusement.

"Why? This is not your fault." They stood outside the private rooms section of the hospital. Sakura was much too uncomfortable to go on any further and Neji was almost too giddy to enter.

It was true, he looked much happier then she or the rest of the hospital staff had ever seen him.

The newly anointed Hyuuga Sakura elbowed her husband with mild irritation. "Neji, we put your uncle in the hospital."

"Nonsense. He had a heart attack." Again Neji looked as if he was fighting the urge to laugh and was failing.

"He had the heart attack because we came back married. So it is our fault."

Neji's lip quirked upwards slightly. "That was merely a coincidence Sakura."

The medic rolled her eyes. "Heh, this is coming from fate's biggest fan boy."

"Touché." He held out his arm for her to take and Sakura's eyes widened even more, if possible. "Shall we continue?"

"Why do I get the feeling that you are enjoying your uncles' near breakdown at our marriage? You know what, don't answer that, I don't even want to know." Smirking, she tucked her arm into his and they walked toward Hiashi's room. "Besides, it can't get much weirder can it?"

_Day Two_

"Lee really did quite a number on you didn't he?" Sakura mused aloud as she patched Neji up. Really, she should have anticipated Lee's anger. I mean come on. The guy has been professing his undying affections for her since they were genin, and on a completely random mission she comes back not only married, but to his emotionally stunted teammate who had never expressed any kind of romantic interest in her before then?

She could understand why he was so peeved.

Neji made a low growl in the back of his throat that Sakura took to mean, 'Lets never bring this subject up ever again.' She smiled brightly as she began to unravel the bandages that he kept on the entire left side of his body. "Well, at least everyone else took it well."

Neji snorted. "Clearly woman, your definition of well is distorted. Hinata-sama fainted."

Sakura shrugged "True, but she always does that. Besides she didn't end up in the hospital now did she?"

"Kakashi has been tracking me for the last two days."

She waved her hand dismissively. "He's just protective."

Neji looked behind his shoulder at her mischievous smile. "Sakura, he's after my blood."

"Consider it special training." Tying a final knot, she declared him 'all fixed up'. Somehow, Neji severely doubted that.

_Day Three_

Tsunade looked at her pupil and her newly acquired husband with a light scowl. Sakura was looking everywhere in the office except at her shishou, while Neji looked nowhere else except at her. Growing more angered by the minute, Tsunade sat at her desk in what the rest of Konoha would call the 'Brooding Sasuke' pose before starting.

" I don't think you two quite realize what your impromptu marriage is doing to my village. I have a clan lord in the hospital from shock. One of my ex-Anbu members is after your head for taking away his only girl student." Neji visibly straightened up.

"I have an extremely upset weapons mistress who is getting calls at all hours of the night from reporters asking for information about you two!" Sakura paled when she saw a vein in her teachers forehead bulge, a sure fire sign that something in the very near future was going to be broken. Sure enough Tsunade slammed her hand into the desk splitting it clear in half.

"I've even gotten a damn 'anonymous' letter from sound, asking if it was true that you two have gotten married!" She shook the piece of paper around for emphasis. "Like we don't all know who that's from!"

Sure enough, on the bottom of the paper was the Uchiha crest, and Sakura couldn't help but laugh darkly. 'Figures he chooses now of all times to send a letter to his old friends.' inner Sakura added in, which mirrored outer Sakura's thoughts as well. She didn't get a long time to dwell on it though, for Tsunade wasn't done with her outburst.

The Godaime Hokage paced around the room. "Lee is too upset to complete any of his missions, not to mention the number of death threats I've received from ninja and civilians alike concerning you and Neji! Dammit! I am trying to run a Ninja Village here, not a high school!" She glared darkly at the newlyweds, but when she saw the pitiful look on her disciple's face, (even Neji looked ready to bolt at any given moment), her eyes softened.

They were just kids really. Sitting down on her chair, she pulled a small scroll from the remains of a desk drawer. "We need to get you two out of a village until the heat dies down about this. A four month mission to waterfall ought to suffice." she handed Neji, who's face was once again emotionless, (missions he could handle. Crazy hokages…. Not so much) the scroll. Sakura looked like she was about to cry. "You'll leave immediately. Both of you are dismissed."

Neji, (That lucky bastard! Inner Sakura chanted) made a beeline of the door. Sakura on the other hand could do no such thing. "Oh Sakura-chan…."

She gulped in nervousness. That sweet tone was never good for her. Reluctantly she faced her teacher. "H-Hai sensei….?" A smirking Tsunade lead her favorite student toward the door and whispered in a low voice so that only the two of them would hear it.

"By the time you return, I'm expecting little pink haired, byakugan wielding babies to be on the way…"

Sakura screamed.

* * *

She sat up with a start, panting softly. 'Dear god that was….' She couldn't even think of a word that could adequately describe the her and Neji procreating and Tsunade nearly cheerleading the event on.

Sakura flinched.

Looking around, she was taken aback when she didn't see her teammates staring at her like she was crazy. No, they were all crowded around the cell's only small window. Naruto was jumping up and down, while she heard Shikamaru mutter something along the lines of 'about time'.

"What's going on?" She asked while taking off and handing Kiba his jacket back. It was becoming clear that it was probably a few minutes before dawn, for the small cell had started to heat up again 'Damn desert.' she thought bitterly. 'The sooner we can get out of this place the better.'

The Inuzuka boy opened his mouth to answer her but was cut off my a whirlwind of orange and black. "Gaara! Sakura-chan Gaara's here. We're rescued!"

Sakura's eyes widened with happiness. 'Yes! We're free I don't have to marry one of these idiots! I can go home!' Sakura nearly cried. Finding that some a of her chakra had returned during the night, she used her strength to push the boys aside and looked for herself.

True enough she could see the Kazekage's bright red hair and the distinctive 'Ai' kanji on his forehead..

Gaara was calmly speaking with a guard who kept bowing and apologizing, and when he saw a bright flash of pink hair he sent a curt nod in her direction. Fiddling with several keys the guard opened the cell door and they all came tumbling out.

The guard who suddenly looked extremely nervous, turned to Sakura and bowed deeply. "Please forgive me for the misunderstanding. We had no idea, but with all due respect you should have told us you were our esteemed Kazekage's fiancée."

Sakura pinched herself to make sure she was really awake this time. When all that happened was a sharp pain in her arm, she blinked very slowly.

Neji's eyes started to twitch.

Shikamaru groaned.

Kiba's jaw hung wide open.

And for once, Naruto was shocked silent.

Gaara merely stared impassively. "Yes dear why didn't you tell them?"

She pinched herself one more time to be certain.

When she didn't wake Sakura attempted to continue where Gaara's lie had left off. "Eh, uh, I didn't want to call too much attention to myself uh, Honey."

Kiba smacked his head in frustration. Naruto on the other hand couldn't believe his ears. "W-what?"

Sighing deeply Shikamaru figured it was time for him to step in and end this whole mess. "Oi, be quiet Naruto. I know we were supposed to keep the Kazekage's fiancée's identity secret, but it's unavoidable now. Besides our job was to escort her back to Suna, but since her betrothed is here the mission is over."

Gaara nodded in approval and took Sakura's hand, (Now Neji, Sakura and Kiba were twitching) and nearly dragged her toward the edge of the village and into the expansive desert.

"Let's go Sakura." To anyone else, his voice would sound cold and apathetic , but to someone like Sakura who had sent a large among of time in Suna working with and near him, she knew he found the entire situation funny.

The minute they were a least a mile from the village she sent him a side long look. "You are one dark and twisty individual Gaara, I hope you know that." He shrugged the comment off. Dark or not, the predicaments Sakura seemed to find herself in were entertaining if nothing else.

"If I hadn't come to save you, you would have had to marry on of them-" He sent the Leaf nin trailing slightly behind them a cold look. "Or you'd have been killed." Clearly he thought death was better than life with one of her would be suitors. "Still it make one wonder, if you had to have pick, who would you have tied yourself down to?"

Sakura didn't answer but the red head was right, who would she have chosen?

Naruto's one track mind and hyperactivity?

Kiba and his complete disregard of tact and her feelings?

Shikamaru's lack of motivation and crazy fan club?

Neji's….Neji's…. Neji's what indeed…

'Neji, we'll go back to that one a bit later…' inner Sakura cooed darkly.

Sakura sighed. All she wanted to do was go back to Konoha and sleep soundly and dreamlessly in her bed. Though it seemed inner Sakura had other ideas. But she digressed.

"Don't bring this up ever again, please."

Gaara lifted a non-existent eyebrow. "That bad?"

"It was a nightmare…."

* * *

Notes; Heh that was extremely entertaining to write. Yeah, so I leaned toward NejiSaku at the end but that was the fault of my inner fan girl. I actually ship 4 out of the 5 Sakura pairings in the story. (Can anyone guess which ones?) Thank you so much for reading and drop a review if you have time!

Forever and Eternally,

-Ra


End file.
